B. Walker Sampson’s plays include: Silent Steps: A Play with MacGuffins (Outsider's Inn Collective); Puppet Kafka (Drama of Works, with assistance from the Henson Foundation and the 2007 Chashama/NEA Performance Development Award); Absence of a House (Double Take Theatre); and Roosevelt Island (BRIC Studio; HERE Art Center's American Living Room Festival). His play Alceste was part of Soho Rep’s 2004/05 Writer/Director Lab reading series, and additionally his plays have been read at the Playwrights' Center, Theatre of NOTE, Manhattan Theatre Source, and the Flea Theater. His plays, poetry, and articles have been published in The Saint Ann’s Review, The Brooklyn Review, Stirring, and American Theatre.
For production rights to Roosevelt Island, please contact the author at walkbens@gmail.com
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Characters
Franklin
Eleanor
Place
An apartment in a high rise on Roosevelt Island, NY.
The apartment should have a large window and kitchen counter, on which there should be a food processor. Any additional touches should have a sterile, IKEA-budget-home-fashions feel, with lots of red.
Franklin and Eleanor themselves are dressed in solid red. Franklin will need pockets, pockets with room.
When the rain is heard, it sounds like 10-100 leaky faucets. Except when noted.
When the Voices are heard, they say this:
Admire the convenience of where we live.
Everything’s so close we don’t have to go very far.
The future has come equipped with comfort and accessibility.
There’s so much to choose from.
Everything is named for what it is.
What’s so good is that this is a wonderland.
And nothing’s so bad about a wonderland.
The voices are most audible in the very beginning and at the very end. Elsewhere they are heard just above a whisper.
Voices.
Voices fade.
Lights up:
Franklin is in the kitchen, gazing sadly at the food processor.
Eleanor is in the doorway, standing with umbrella.
FRANKLIN
I put something I shouldn’t have in the food processor.
The instructions didn’t tell me that I shouldn’t.
Eleanor opens umbrella and sets it on the floor,
As if to dry.
FRANKLIN
There was a picture of stuffed grape leaves in New York magazine.
They found striped bass living in a drain pipe on the roof of one of the new high rises. Armadillos. As well.
There was a clinic in the community center for the tying of shoes.
I’ve been to the clinic for each pair of shoes I’ve owned.
The shoes I have now are enormous.
Eleanor runs her finger along the outside skin of the umbrella
And lifts her finger to her lips to taste.
FRANKLIN
It was warm today.
I saw people standing on the grass, waving their arms.
“Cards and Gifts” was out of cards, but still had gifts.
When I walked past “Nail Salon,” I wondered if my feet had been productive.
ELEANOR
Franklin.
FRANKLIN
My doctor today told me I’ve stopped aging entirely.
He said I’m not going to get younger again,
but all my pubic hair is going to fall out.
ELEANOR
Franklin, you’re my favorite Franklin in the world.
FRANKLIN
People are being tested.
Have you been outside?
I was thinking I might move in. Just for a while.
For as long as I’ve already been living here.
Eleanor takes off her coat.
ELEANOR
My favorite Franklin doesn’t always imply success.
Success is something that has to do with taking your shoes off and keeping them off for hours at a time.
What I’m trying to say is we need to take all of the canned soups we don’t eat out of the back of the cupboard and put them in the front.
I think we should go to church together.
I’ve been imagining myself wearing a halter top to the library, but not on purpose.
FRANKLIN
You ever think that maybe we shouldn’t eat breakfast in the morning?
ELEANOR
They took down the flag today and somebody sent up their sandwich.
FRANKLIN
Everyone on Roosevelt Island waves and says hello.
Even if nobody is there.
Smiles as if somebody is.
ELEANOR
The river today had words written in it,
But only if you looked down from the right angle.
FRANKLIN
I was going to use the food processor tonight,
but I ruined it.
ELEANOR
You’re my favorite Franklin.
FRANKLIN
Is it raining?
Franklin goes to the window to see if it’s raining.
He opens the window.
Rain: the sound of 10-100 leaky faucets.
Air, cold.
Eleanor feels the cold,
And reacts to the cold.
Franklin shivers somewhere underneath.
He closes the window.
ELEANOR
They wouldn’t give me grits at the diner because it was past four o’clock.
Past four o’clock, I can’t get my grits.
My grits with cheese.
FRANKLIN
I made you a drawing today, out of paper.
He holds up a blank piece of red construction paper.
And I made you this one.
Puts same piece of paper down and picks it back up.
ELEANOR
The elevator has unlucky numbers.
FRANKLIN
There’s a new recipe in the magazine I found.
It could have changed everything.
ELEANOR
Why does my bacon sometimes taste like salmon?
FRANKLIN
I haven’t listened or read the news today,
but I have a lot to tell you.
ELEANOR
You make me feel like I’m wearing my pajamas.
FRANKLIN
Is it raining?
Franklin goes to the window to see if it’s raining.
He opens the window.
Rain: the sound of 10-100 leaky faucets.
Air, cold.
Eleanor feels the cold,
And reacts to the cold.
Franklin shivers somewhere underneath.
He closes the window.
FRANKLIN
Today I took my hat off
When I was on the street, outside.
It hurt.
Voices.
ELEANOR
If I wear a dress over my jeans, and a coat not as long as my dress, my coat and my dress are condescending to my jeans. Whatever I wear over my legs does a disservice to
Whatever I wear over my
Whatever I wear
My favorite dress. I only wear it when it’s raining. Is it raining?
I can taste the air.
The air tastes like Jello, but I don’t know what flavor.
Sometimes I can taste everything I come in contact with, even if
Even if
My favorite dress. Only when it’s raining.
Voices fade.
ELEANOR
There shouldn’t be a tree that reaches the thirty-sixth floor.
it only makes us feel like we’ve done something wrong.
FRANKLIN
I can’t stand the sight of your umbrella.
But today I tested the plunger by suctioning it to the window.
Right over there.
Franklin points to where the window is,
And where the plunger would be.
ELEANOR
You'll never replace the food processor.
My mother called me today and said she has another wastebasket.
The food processor has been here longer than you have.
At the library today, my ass sweat so much the seat cover came off when I stood up.
If you ever break anything on purpose, I’ll only see you for who you really are.
FRANKLIN
I haven’t cut my fingernails.
So you can’t really be here.
ELEANOR
I’m going to go out.
FRANKLIN
Do you know I write your phone messages on toilet paper?
ELEANOR
When your back is turned, I make paper airplanes!
FRANKLIN
The fruit in the fruit bowl is upside down!
ELEANOR
Cracks in the door frame are jagged!
FRANKLIN
Socks have fiber!
ELEANOR
Maybe the books at the library should be facing binding in.
We have newspapers there, on wooden tables.
There’s a law that says we can’t have dogs on the Island, and I
wonder if I want to have a dog.
I think I should wash that blouse with the perfume spot.
You’re my favorite Franklin,
but I think it’s time.
FRANKLIN
Library in Spanish is biblioteca.
ELEANOR
Something about this music makes me feel sad.
FRANKLIN
Would you like me to put on music?
You’ve never listened to In the Wee Small Hours all the way through.
ELEANOR
Something about
No, it wasn’t
It wasn’t anything.
Voices.
FRANKLIN
When I think of
When I try to think of
When I think of Eleanor
You. Eleanor.
I think of red.
That’s because there’s so much red on Roosevelt Island.
Red stop signs
Red bus
Red tram.
Red letters
Red streaks on buildings.
Red buildings
Red noses
Red eyes
Red makes me see red all over.
Voices fade.
ELEANOR
I’m going to go outside.
Franklin bolts from the room.
Frank Sinatra’s “In the Wee Small Hours” begins to play,
As if Frank Sinatra’s “In the Wee Small Hours” were playing underwater.
Franklin re-enters.
Franklin and Eleanor look at each other,
While Frank Sinatra sings “In the Wee Small Hours,”
Seemingly underwater.
Franklin exits and stops the song before it finishes.
ELEANOR
I was on the red bus that goes around Roosevelt Island,
and everyone was saying how great it was to live on Roosevelt Island.
Talking out loud as if they were talking to each other.
Every reason listed was as clear as a drop of water.
I was talking out loud as well; I was listing reasons as well.
My shoulders arched with gladness.
My gladness caused me to shiver.
Did you say people are being tested?
Franklin re-enters.
FRANKLIN
There isn’t a diet soda I don’t find disgusting.
But Roosevelt Island was air-lifted from elsewhere.
The Tram is really a UFO, hi-jacked with wires.
ELEANOR
I’ll be able to get out at the ground floor.
Do you think I could have my coat?
Franklin picks up Eleanor’s coat,
And holds it without thinking.
FRANKLIN
You have to admire the convenience of where we live.
Everything’s so close you don’t have to go very far.
There’s something I love, and it at least has something to do with you.
When the future comes,
I hope that comfort and accessibility come as well.
When the future comes,
I hope I feel as good as I did during moments of today and moments of yesterday. Nobody really has meant as much as you to me,
but then it’s hard to tell what you mean sometimes.
Where were you planning to go if you’ve already been there?
I think my brain has a rabbit living in it.
ELEANOR
When I came in here I put my umbrella down to dry,
and I think it has, if it had to,
if it had anything to dry from.
I tasted the umbrella,
and I still haven’t figured out what it is that I’ve tasted.
Not like the air, not like Jello.
FRANKLIN
I’ve never met a person on Roosevelt Island who didn’t smile
Every minute of every day.
Smiles to prove he’s a citizen.
ELEANOR
My mother called today and she said she heard Roosevelt Island was glowing something unnatural at night.
There was a color and I can’t remember the name of it, but I know on Roosevelt Island the color isn’t supposed to glow unnatural.
There are a lot of things I don’t know.
There are some things I never knew about you,
and I think in the future I’d find easily as unknowable.
You are my favorite Franklin.
I’ve had favorite Franklins before, but you’re very high on the list.
It will be a task and a half to find a favorite Franklin that would rank as high as you.
FRANKLIN
There are no other Franklins.
ELEANOR
On the street outside,
the names of the stores are the names of exactly what’s in the stores,
not a name that would make me stop and think,
“What does that name mean?”
I know exactly where I need to go if I want to buy cheese.
I go to “Cheese.”
If I wanted to buy a card or a gift, I’d go to “Cards and Gifts,”
Though they have no cards, only gifts.
The red bus that goes around the Island looks like it belongs in Germany.
The bus will take me to the center of the Island,
where the Tram will take me to the other Island.
FRANKLIN
There are no other Franklins.
ELEANOR
Everyone’s Franklin.
Everyone’s Eleanor.
FRANKLIN
I’m the only Franklin there is.
And you’re the only Eleanor.
ELEANOR
Franklin and Eleanor.
Franklin and Eleanor.
Franklin and Eleanor.
All over Roosevelt Island.
FRANKLIN
Everything is named for what it is.
ELEANOR
Outside, down the street and across the water, there’s so much.
There’s so much to choose from.
The people on Roosevelt Island all wear hats, to cover the smoking holes in their heads. There’s something wrong with every place I’ve ever been,
but I’ve only ever
been able to live moment by moment. So how would I ever know, Franklin,
that something is wrong?
FRANKLIN
At the post office, they had a “CONFIDENTIAL” stamp I took when they weren’t looking.
I’m going to stamp my forehead, and
They won’t say my name above a whisper.
Franklin takes a “CONFIDENTIAL” stamp from his pocket,
And stamps his forehead.
ELEANOR
People are being tested.
They are testing the people.
FRANKLIN
At the post office, they had a “CONFIDENTIAL” stamp I took when they weren’t looking.
I’m going to stamp your forehead, and
They won’t say your name above a whisper.
Franklin takes a “CONFIDENTIAL” stamp from his pocket,
And tries to stamp Eleanor’s forehead.
He does not succeed and puts the stamp away.
ELEANOR
Red isn’t an unnatural color.
FRANKLIN
The testing isn’t really what I’ve been saying—more of a pop quiz.
A person on the street asking questions.
People give answers. Some of the answers are the same.
Some are slightly different.
But everyone gets an orange for participating.
Franklin has such an orange.
FRANKLIN
I don’t remember what all my answers were because I was thinking about what to name the store I want to open here.
A store to sell Miscellaneous Objects.
ELEANOR
We would have gone to “Kitchen Appliances” tomorrow, together,
to pick out something new to replace something old.
FRANKLIN
You once told me you were partial to tropical fish.
ELEANOR
What was that thing I said when I wanted you to listen?
Franklin returns his gaze to the food processor.
FRANKLIN
The food processor’s name implies some sort of equation, doesn’t it? Add this and subtract that and find the variable of
Do you think Fermat had, do you think Einstein had, other smart so-and-so’s had
This?
If only I had written it down
If only I had followed the recipe instead of pretending I was like one of those smart so-and-so’s on that channel that shows all the food shows.
If only I didn’t pretend for a second I was Jackson Pollock. I can put it together however I may please. I can rely on thoughts that don’t have thoughts to precede them. Deep down within are the possibilities for change and growth.
Where are you planning
Where are you planning to go if
If only you weren’t planning, you could stay for dinner.
There’s a shop on the street that has a sign that says “Chinese Food to Takeout.”
Eleanor reaches for her coat.
Franklin walks away with it,
Looks out the window.
Eleanor looks inside the food processor.
ELEANOR
Everything on Roosevelt Island is built along one path
And there’s nowhere that’s very far from the path.
And that bothers me.
There’s something inside of this.
FRANKLIN
The test was a couple of questions.
“How do you like it here?”
They asked.
.
ELEANOR
Too many smiling, waving people built along one path.
That bothers me.
What did you put inside of this?
Eleanor starts to unravel the enormously long red shoelace
from inside the food processor
FRANKLIN
That’s right. I said I liked it here.
My reasons were very clear,
And I found love in listing them.
What’s so good is that this is a wonderland
And nothing’s so bad about a wonderland.
ELEANOR
You can’t put anything you want in the food processor.
FRANKLIN
If I can’t taste the Jello air, then I’ll never know if it’s tasty.
ELEANOR
Anything you want can’t be food processed.
FRANKLIN
I have ceilings that I’ve looked up to that I realize are floors.
ELEANOR
The instructions are there for you to learn about the rules of food processing service.
FRANKLIN
My feet are the cause to the ruin in my head.
ELEANOR
Franklin, this is your shoe-lace!
FRANKLIN
Your coat would be a better coat if it offered a choice of buttons, snaps and zippers.
Franklin smells the coat.
Your coat smells like something fresh.
Where is there fresh?
My doctor told me today I could never make anyone sad.
ELEANOR
(Soft) Franklin.
FRANKLIN
On the beaches there are boulders that guard the land from the river.
I don’t know what I’d do if the land came to me when I didn’t ask it to.
ELEANOR
(Soft) Franklin.
FRANKLIN
I expect to have authority over some things.
ELEANOR
In the time we’ve been together—
FRANKLIN
(Soft) Some things—
ELEANOR
—something I’ve noticed about you—
FRANKLIN
…
ELEANOR
—is how you talk about some place you are—
FRANKLIN
…
ELEANOR
—as if it’s someplace else.
FRANKLIN
I don’t know what I’d do. Honestly.
Franklin goes to the window to see if it’s raining.
He opens the window.
Rain: the sound of only 2 leaky faucets.
Air, cold.
Eleanor feels the cold,
And reacts to the cold.
Franklin shivers somewhere underneath.
ELEANOR
Everyone’s Franklin.
Everyone’s Eleanor.
All over Roosevelt Island.
FRANKLIN
You’re the only Eleanor
I’ll ever know.
Of all the Eleanors.
There is only Eleanor
Without Eleanor
I’m no longer Franklin.
ELEANOR
I want to go someplace
Where I don’t know
What everything means.
FRANKLIN
But what’s so good is that this is a wonderland
And nothing’s so bad about a wonderland.
ELEANOR
But everything is named for what it is.
And that bothers me.
FRANKLIN
I’m not named for what I am.
I’m named for what I no longer am.
I’m named for what I’m not.
ELEANOR
I want to go someplace
Where I don’t know
FRANKLIN
If I go, you don’t have to
You can stay where you already are.
ELEANOR
It was warm today
The sun was out
There were sounds of bugs
And sounds of trees.
It was too warm today
The sun was too out
The trees were too loud
I came home because I wanted to leave home
I wanted to see you so I could leave you
But now I’m in, and I can’t go back
Because out is too out there
And there’s that Jello air
And that bothers me
FRANKLIN
If I go, you don’t have to
A not entirely absent pause.
ELEANOR
If you go, I’ll first help you with your enormous shoes.
FRANKLIN
I’ll leave this Confidential stamp for you,
Just in case you want people to stop saying your name.
Leaves her the stamp.
ELEANOR
Is this the lace for your enormous shoe or both enormous shoes?
FRANKLIN
I’ll leave this orange for you,
Just in case you get tired of red.
Leaves her the orange.
ELEANOR
If you hold on to this shoe-lace, you’ll be able to stay awhile longer.
Even after you’ve already gone.
FRANKLIN
My doctor today told me I was very grounded for somebody so high in the sky.
ELEANOR
If you hold on to this,
You’ll almost always be always connected.
Until you’re not.
FRANKLIN
The air on Roosevelt Island is made out of Jello.
I find that comforting.
ELEANOR
It’s never going to be what it was
Even if the food processor hadn’t had an accident.
FRANKLIN
I don’t know where I’ll end up.
On the ground. On the roof.
ELEANOR
It’s never going to be what it was
Even if the typewriter hadn’t decided to make the decisions around here.
FRANKLIN
On the top of a great monument,
addressing things I could normally only see with a microscope.
ELEANOR
All the paintings I put up look outside,
When outside is on the other side of the wall.
FRANKLIN
Wherever I am
The air will look at me like I’ve thought something unpleasant.
Picks up the umbrella from the floor
And closes it up.
ELEANOR
The door looks at me like I’m a coward.
But the door can’t look
Maybe it can think.
The door thinks at me and thinks I’m a coward.
FRANKLIN
Wherever I am
Part of me will be somewhere else.
It won’t be here
Sticks the umbrella out the window
And opens it up.
ELEANOR
But it’s never going to be.
Never going to be, never, it’s never,
no never.
FRANKLIN
The air on Roosevelt Island is made out of Jello.
Steps out onto the Jello air.
The Jello air makes a Jello sound.
See, Eleanor?
That’s one of the reasons, Eleanor.
Takes shoe-lace from Eleanor.
If I hold on to this,
I’ll almost always be always connected.
Starts to step away.
More Jello sounds.
Until I’m not.
ELEANOR
Franklin.
FRANKLIN
Eleanor.
Eleanor, goodbye.
Steps further.
More Jello sounds.
FRANKLIN
Eleanor, goodbye.
Steps further.
More Jello sounds.
ELEANOR
All my reasons, what they were
I can’t remember
Something about
No, it wasn’t
It wasn’t anything.
FRANKLIN
Eleanor, goodbye.
Steps further.
More Jello sounds.
Franklin gone from sight.
Shoe-lace holds in the air.
Voices.
ELEANOR
It was warm today.
They found striped bass living in a drain pipe on the roof of one of the new high rises.
“Cards and Gifts” was out of cards, but still had gifts.
My doctor today told me I’ve stopped aging entirely.
He said I’m not going to get younger again,
but all my pubic hair is going to fall out.
You have to admire the convenience of where we live.
Everything’s so close we don’t have to go very far.
The future has come equipped with comfort and accessibility.
Everything’s named for what it is.
There’s so much to choose from.
What’s so good is that this is a wonderland.
And nothing’s so bad about a wonderland.
Voice fade.
Franklin and Eleanor.
Franklin and Eleanor.
Franklin and Eleanor.
Everyone’s Eleanor.
Everyone’s Eleanor.
Shoe-lace drops.
Eleanor shrugs.
Find another Franklin.
End of play.
